Why why whyyy

Why do I do the things I do? Why do I keep biting my nails and eating second breakfast like Bilbo Baggins? Why do I give sass to the same co-worker day after day? Why do I refresh my Instagram feed compulsively? Why do I continue rolling out of bed 45 minutes after my first alarm?

I want to wake up early and work out. I want to check each of the items off of my to do list before even leaving for work. I want to go an entire day without eating a cookie. I want to treat people better.

Today I made this list from Titus 3:

These are the things I wanted to remember all day long, and I managed to fail pretty miserably at each one. It’s becoming more obvious that I can’t rely on my own volition to accomplish any of this.

So as I’m sorting through this Romans 7 disappointment, I’m trying to remind myself that many of this week’s highlights have has nothing to do with me or my (lack of) resolve. This week I was encouraged by an update from friends in Peru. The eye doctor surprised me with free contact trials. Perfect timing allowed me to hang in the park with friends after work. My grandparents invited me to their monthly breakfast club:


So there’s tomorrow – and regardless of my performance, it will be a new day with endless amounts of potential. I will spend the rest of today reading and drinking copious amounts of water in an attempt to flush the double chocolate chip residue from my system.

xo, Mallory


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